28th Birthday == Best Gift Ever

Dear Internet,

Every year for the past 28 years I have gotten some pretty rad gifts. This year, however, has topped every single previous gift receiving year.

Not only did I receive the fantastic Frye boots I was so desperately longing for, but I also got a map of Long Island (I already discussed this as irrelevant, but it's still pretty awesome), a porcelain Schnauzer knick-knack, a bottle of Marc Jacobs Lola (it has a retarded, plastic art deco flower as a cap, but it smells ok), some cash, a buttload of food, but for all the awesome things that I got this year and in years past, the gift below takes the prize for the best ever (I've centered it because it deserves a serious place of respect on this blog and should be dutifully showcased):


I don't even know if anything can compare to this. I don't know if anything ever will. Frankly, it may have topped the two cats (King Solomon and Kitty) that I got as a birthday gift last year.

Gosh, I am excited. I actually am looking forward to waking up tomorrow morning at 6:30 just so that I can brew some coffee and pour a fresh, steaming cup into this mug. Because of course, the best part of waking up, is Bitches Talkin' Shit on the outside of your cup.

Thank you!
Shelly